Atmospheric River Replacer

Sure "atmospheric river" might make sense as scientific jargon in some meteorological research paper, but in a colloquial context its just dumb. The phrase has exploded in popularity because news outlets have discovered it makes a clickbait-y headline that SEOs well. Fixing this affront to our dignity I promise will improve your news viewing experience. This is a real world example of the Onion "post office box" phenomena: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFpK_r-jEXg